Saturday, December 6, 2003

Back Home

I'm back home and all I can say is that I had a wonderful time. Lots of talking and laughing and probably one of the best times I had in months. It's nice to remember that you're smart, sexy, beautiful, and fun.

.: 42 words at 04:46 AM in Fish Tales, ";print substr($entry_cats, 0, -2); ?> :: Link :: Pings (0) :: All the Voices Say... (7) :.

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Friday, December 5, 2003

Burn It - The Fall Edition Delay

Understandly, I've had no desire to do much with the last Burn It exchange over the last few weeks. At this point, I've received a ton of the discs (I'm still getting my mail from Steven, so if you have yours to send to me, go ahead and send it to the Sugar Pine address for now), but I haven't gone through and checked off who's sent one and who hasn't. I'll probably do that this weekend, but no promises.

However, I don't think that I'm in any kind of mood to make a mix for this exchange, so those of you in my group will be receiving two discs - my Spring and Summer editions instead. Again, I can't promise that this will be ready this weekend, but I'm going to try.

Like I said in this post, I've got to start moving on and keeping busy with other stuff, so I will try and work my way through the 80(!) discs or so that showed up. It may be a while before I listen to them, though. Sometimes music is just too unsafe when you're feelings are freshly raw.

.: 192 words at 12:36 PM in Burn It, ";print substr($entry_cats, 0, -2); ?> :: Link :: Pings (0) :: All the Voices Say... (4) :.

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Thursday, December 4, 2003

Home System Help

My mom asked what I wanted for Christmas this year and suggested getting me a DVD player with a home theater system.

She wouldn't, of course, pay for the whole thing, but since I'm saving roughly $300 by not having to buy Steven, his parents, and his brothers Christmas gifts, I figured investing in a pretty good one wouldn't be a bad idea.

This is where you come in - I am at a total loss for what's good and what's not. I found this Panasonic 400W Home Theater System with Progressive-Scan DVD Changer & Hi-Fi VCR for about $400.

Good deal? Bad deal? Good brand? Bad brand? Someone who knows this stuff help me out. Feel free to suggest others, but keep in mind that this is about my price range. I guess that begs the question can you even get anything decent for that price? Speak out and let me know.

.: 153 words at 10:00 PM in I'm Looking For...., ";print substr($entry_cats, 0, -2); ?> :: Link :: Pings (0) :: All the Voices Say... (4) :.

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Friday

Speaking of tall, cute guys asking me out - guess what I have Friday? A date! Go, me!

.: 18 words at 01:57 PM in Fish Tales, ";print substr($entry_cats, 0, -2); ?> :: Link :: Pings (0) :: All the Voices Say... (10) :.

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The Hardest Thing

I've talked to Steven a few times this week and while he's said everytime that we can talk in January about our relationship and see what happens, he's been very adament about the fact that he needs to date (he keeps bringing up that damn Miss Match episode where the couple date other people to make sure that what they have is what they want; I keep pointing out that they end up together, which he's also said). He said that there is a possibility that we could get back together and if we do, it's for the long run and what's a few months in the meantime? He is frustrating me so badly, though, that now that I truly know and understand what our problems are and have already begun to work on mine that he refuses to just get back together "since we'll have learned nothing." That and the fact that he snagged some pictures from Picture Fish for his Match.com ad (including our last anniversary picture) makes me want to kick him in the shins.

I guess this whole rambling bit is to help me come to terms with the hardest thing that I will ever have to do - let him go for now. I have to stop talking about him and thinking about him and just try and move on. I still love him with all of my heart, but it's tearing me up inside. This was the man that I thought I was going to marry - to have by my side always.

I've got two parties to go to in the upcoming weeks and I think a night of clubbing (no, not killing baby seals; dancing and drinking) will be in my future. Maybe I'll get some cute, tall guys to take me out while I'm at it.

I hurt a lot, but I've gotten through stuff like this before and I can get through it again. I'll concentrate on me this month and just try and have a good time. Lord knows Steven's doing that, so it's my only option. He keeps telling me to have faith that we'll get back together (by his own admission he's hard to get along with and doesn't like a lot of people), but that's so hard to do when I feel that he's giving nothing for me to have faith in.

So, that's where we stand. Good, bad, or indifferent - I ride the emotional roller coaster every day. I still owe a ton of people e-mails and that's my plan for at least part of the weekend. Thanks for all of the support and for all of the love that has been pouring in my direction. It is much appreciated, even if I haven't let you know.

Also, to the person that sent me Graham Masterson's Trauma and This Book Will Change Your Life: 365 Daily Instructions for Hysterical Living, thank you. There's only your name (which I don't recognize) and no e-mail address so I can't thank you privately.

.: 507 words at 01:14 PM in Fish Tales, ";print substr($entry_cats, 0, -2); ?> :: Link :: Pings (0) :: All the Voices Say... (2) :.

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Wednesday, December 3, 2003

Coke Addiction Kicked

Been wondering how I was doing on my challenge to kick my Coke addiction?

The answer is pretty damn good, actually. Since then I've had maybe a half a Coke total (easier to grab a few sips of one of those in the car than trying to bring a glass of lemonade with me) and it's amazing how sweet it tastes. I even tried my mom's Diet Coke and it wasn't even that bad.

I think this is going to have the most positive impact on my weight and on me never becoming diabetic, something I've always been a bit worried about since my dad was diagnosed like seven years ago.

So, go me! If I would have known it would have been that easy to go from six cans a day to none, I would have done it a long time ago.

So, now that I've lost a lot of weight and look extremely hot, any cute guys out there free on Friday?

.: 165 words at 02:17 PM in Fish Tales, ";print substr($entry_cats, 0, -2); ?> :: Link :: Pings (0) :: All the Voices Say... (9) :.

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#48D1CC
you are mediumturquoise
#48D1CC

Your dominant hues are green and blue. You're smart and you know it, and want to use your power to help people and relate to others. Even though you tend to battle with yourself, you solve other people's conflicts well.

Your saturation level is medium - You're not the most decisive go-getter, but you can get a job done when it's required of you. You probably don't think the world can change for you and don't want to spend too much effort trying to force it.

Your outlook on life is brighter than most people's. You like the idea of influencing things for the better and find hope in situations where others might give up. You're not exactly a bouncy sunshine but things in your world generally look up.
the spacefem.com html color quiz


(Link courtesy of lime-y Kristine.)

.: 144 words at 09:52 AM in :: Link :: Pings (2) :: All the Voices Say... (2) :.

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Monday, December 1, 2003

"Your Daughter?"

My mom told everyone at work that I'm now single, to which one of the guys goes, "Your daughter's single? My divorce is final this month!" Heh.

.: 28 words at 10:41 PM in Fish Tales, ";print substr($entry_cats, 0, -2); ?> :: Link :: Pings (0) :: All the Voices Say... (10) :.

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