Pilates
I was over at Put Down the Donut since I've decided the time to make excuses about my weight is over. Was I happy being fat? Hell, no. Did it suck when I couldn't fit into my shorts or jeans any more? Hell, yes. Can I lose the fifteen or twenty pounds I need to? Fuck yeah.
Anyway, while surfing along, I found Joelle's post about Winsor Pilates. We all know what a hottie she is and how much weight she's lost, so she obviously knows what she's talking about.
The whole point to this rambling is that I decided to get the four DVDs she mentioned plus two special ones for abs, butt, and thighs (my particular bad spots for sure). They're only about twenty minutes (what I used to do on the StairMaster that is now Steven's alone *sigh*), but I think these ought to be some intense workouts. It's supposed to come with a little diet plan thing too, so we'll see what it has to say.
I'll post initial thoughts and progress after they come in. It said two to three weeks for delivery, but I hope that's a high estimate. It's only six DVDs for Pete's sake. Hurry up and get here, DVDs!
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That's great! I'm so proud of you for taking this step. I am going to order them as well. I'm jsut waiting until I get paid.
Posted by Ash at November 26, 2003 02:03 PM
I think you'll like them. My sister in law ordered them on my recommendation and she loves them. Bo baby go! :)
Posted by sphinx at November 26, 2003 02:08 PM
Oh - you should have told me you wanted to try them out - I have the whole set and could have loaned them to you first! I've always been a huge fan of Pilates, so I think they are worth a shot for you - even if you don't lose weight, they will help you tone up!
Posted by Christine at November 26, 2003 02:57 PM
I should add - they will help you tone up IF YOU USE THEM. Something I keep forgetting. Just having them sitting in the drawer under the TV isn't helping.
I have other Pilate DVDs too if you want to try them out. :)
Posted by Christine at November 26, 2003 02:59 PM
Yay!!!! I'm so excited for you. I love it. Love it. love it.
:)
Posted by Joelle at November 26, 2003 03:19 PM
I started winsor pilates a week ago. I've done the hour tape 3 or 4 times. My belly feels flatter already. I love them. They are really hard, but good. Stick with it, I think it will work.
Posted by syd at November 26, 2003 04:30 PM
i did the abs and buns & thighs religiously for 3 months... i definitely felt a difference. i stopped (i don't know why) but i'm going to go back after the holidays. eat smart, exercise, and you'll be able to lose that tummy and thighs! and you'll feel better in your clothes. i haven't gained much back since i stopped. you'll be very happy with the Pilates DVDs.
Posted by kathy at November 26, 2003 10:25 PM
Kym,
I know nothing anyone says will help. Nevertheless, there are a few things I've been wanting to tell you.
You are a wonderful girl (just the way you are). Smart, sexy, passionate, and cool. There are 1000's of guys that will be thrilled with your company. Don't worry about changing-unless you really want to. There are things I want to change about myself, but I have decided it's not worth my energy and I'm trying to learn to accept my self for who I am. Loving our selves enables us to have better relationships-with everyone. . I know it's hard as humans not to define our lives by our relationships, but we are better off if we don't.
As you get older, you'll get better at identifying a good candidate for a relationship. Steven is very materialistic. If you want to date that type of guy (or Steven again), realize what comes with the territory. Dating that type of guy will always be an up hill struggle-just as dating professional women for me would be difficult
Finally- I don't think our species is meant to have one relationship-even though it is better for society if we do. If we do a really good job picking a companion, then we will increase the odds that it will last. But we can never get anywhere near 100% likelihood-sorry. Don't give up. I promise you will find happiness
Hang in there
Ernie
Posted by Ernie at November 27, 2003 09:40 PM
happy thanksgiving, Kymberlie!
Posted by kathy at November 27, 2003 10:05 PM
Wow I know you can do anything you set your heart to. Hang in there through the holidays. Happy Thanksgiving!!!
Posted by Stephanie at November 27, 2003 11:31 PM
I've been playing with Pilates. It's a great almost-full body workout, so if that's what you're looking for, it's a great place to start. Proper food + regular exercise will lead to results. Give it time though, and stick with it!
Posted by sean at November 28, 2003 10:38 PM
I've hunted for two days for your parent's number - I can't find it. Call me. I miss you. :)
Posted by Christine at November 29, 2003 10:20 PM
You know what else you might want to give a shot too...Tai Chi.
It's great for losing weight, and it also gives you more strength just from holding your body in the various positions...it's quite a nice thing to try.
Posted by Brian at November 30, 2003 08:13 AM
I better get on it and go get me a Pilates dvd. I'd love my tummy to be flatter, but I have tried pilates yet.
Posted by Rayne at December 1, 2003 09:52 AM
I started to keep my big fat mouth shut (since I am officially "delurking" with this comment), but Ernie went ahead and opened this can of worms, so I'll continue with his thought.
I am happy to see you taking charge of your life and making broad, sweeping changes. But be sure you are changing yourself for the right reason. For you. For, if at the end of the road, you find yourself indeed thinner, will you also be happier? What if you find it doesn't? Because I've been there and I've done that. Ironically, when I was my thinnest and prettiest (according to perfect strangers), I was also at my most miserable. I couldn't even enjoy the fact that I was thin and pretty. And in the end, it really didn't matter. I went on to find a man who loved me for who I was (am). Fat cells and all.
I hope you are wishing to make these changes for yourself and your own sense of well being, and that you are not simply mirroring your ex's unhappiness with you. If that is the case, then I heartily say to you, GO FOR IT.
There, now. That's it. My two for the day.
Posted by Joni at December 2, 2003 12:46 AM
I LOVE my Winsor Pilates, even though I haven't done them for a while. Mari Winsor makes the exercises easy enough that even a couch potato like me can do them.
Posted by Jenn at December 2, 2003 01:10 PM
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Diet Lemonade
So, to start off my no Coke challenge, I stopped at Chick-fil-A this morning and got a diet lemonade to drink. Man, this stuff is good!
It's got more calories than a diet Coke, but it's still a lot less than I normally have. Instead of having the 256 calories from a large Coke, I'm only having 50 calories from the same size diet lemonade.
Got to start somewhere, right? I wonder if they sell this stuff by the gallon like they do their regular lemonade.
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I stopped drinking soda over the summer. At first I switched from soda to lemonade. Then I tried to drink a lot more water and only order a lemonade occasionally. Now I mainly always drink water. I'm to the point where when I do actually drink a soda, I only have a few sips. Good luck!
Posted by Nicole at November 25, 2003 10:20 AM
hehe, make sure you have a bathroom close ... frequent pee trips are a side effect of lemonade.
Posted by tj at November 25, 2003 10:32 AM
I should probably try to drink more lemonade and less soda. I've been addicted to coca-cola also and have tried to cut back.
Posted by Rayne at November 25, 2003 10:56 AM
I have a coke problem too. I am sitting here at my desk looking at 5 empty cans and I just opened a new one. Help?...lol
Posted by kat at November 25, 2003 12:47 PM
I'm staying away from milky coffees... I've turned mostly towards teas, a bit of unmilked coffee here and there... and a random exciting special 'oh yeah' latte. but for the most part, losts of much more healthy tea drinking!
Posted by amancay at November 25, 2003 03:21 PM
i love dr. pepper! however, i try to stick to the diet version. although i mostly drink crystal lite and i only usue 1/2 of the tub because it is too sweet if i use the whole thing.
Posted by kdeweb at November 25, 2003 04:43 PM
Mmmmmmmmmm. I love diet lemonade!
Posted by :: jozjozjoz :: at November 25, 2003 07:45 PM
What is this talk of diet lemonade?!?! Where? I have to have it? Oh. We don't have Cik-fil-A here. Figures. *pouts*
Posted by Hunter at November 25, 2003 10:49 PM
Isn't that stuff good? My only reason to go to Chick-Fil-A. They do sell it by the gallon too - but it's pricey. A cheaper alternative is the Sugar-Free Kool-aid lemonade. Yummmm...
Posted by Christine at November 26, 2003 03:02 PM
Their lemonade is SO addictive!
Posted by Adelle at December 1, 2003 06:45 PM
Another drink idea: Go to your grocery store, freezer section. Find the juice concentrates. If you like iced tea, find the Nestea iced tea (they come in peach, raspberry, and lemon). Peach is my favorite, mmm. I could drink that like there is no tomorrow.
It's more work to make up a concentrate than to buy just a regular drink, but it's a hell of a lot cheaper and I think it tastes better than the bottle stuff, too. And I think it definitely beats that nasty powdered stuff.
Posted by Christine at December 3, 2003 02:30 PM
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A Challenge
They say (who ever it is that they are, anyway) that when you're going through a rough time, the best thing to do is stay busy. My brother, going through some rough stuff this year himself, also says that this is the time to improve stuff about yourself that you don't like. I'm already part of the way there on my weight (I now weigh less than I have all year long), so I figured what the hell. I think that I am going to try and kick my coke habit.
Before you freak out and go, "I didn't even know she had a drug problem," let me clarify - my Coca-Cola habit. I've been addicted to the stuff since I was a kid and I've always known it's bad for me (hell, there's probably a reason that I had kidney stones at the tender age of twenty-two) so fuck it - I'm going to stop drinking them. I think with the way that my appetite has been nil in the last week, I can really make some changes here and make them a lot easier than I could have when I was eating nothing but fast food and drinking six cokes a day. I always told Steven that I needed something to get past the hump and really lose weight. Shame the hump had to be getting dumped, but you've got to play with what you've been dealt.
From now on it's water. Oh, and stomach crunches. The belly's gone way down, so now it's time to tighten. If I'm going to be dumped, I may as well be a hot dumpee. Got to have something to concentrate on, right?
Then, since Eka's so in love with the South Beach Diet, maybe I'll try and start eating some of the food's she's always raving about. At the very least, I'm going to take my mother's advice and eat smaller portions of things (once I start eating again, of course).
Here's to the new me! Bring it on, life! I'm ready to kick ass and move forward.
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I think the changes you make now will only positively impact your life. Best of luck! :)
Posted by D at November 25, 2003 02:31 AM
You go, girl! Water kicks it. I used to have at least 1-2 cans of soda when I was young but then I started to drink water because it helped the complexion. At first water seems rather dull but then you start to want to drink it- nothing else can quench the thirst as water does. And so you become a water lovin' freak like me.
Try a Brita water filter if you don't want to deal with tap water and don't want to dole out the money for expensive bottled waters. It tastes great and is nice and cold in the refrigerator.
Yeah, mostly now I just drink water or iced tea. Good stuff, I tell you. Much better than Coke! Good luck, sweetie!
Posted by Christine at November 25, 2003 04:33 AM
You go, girl! Email me - I'll totally talk you through it all!
(And drink Crystal Light - you can have unlimited quantities, really, on SB.)
Posted by erika at November 25, 2003 06:23 AM
I've weaned myself down to one soda a day. In the mornings, for every cup of coffee I drink, I drink a glass of water. In the afternoons, I've pushed myself to only drink water. It has helped since the office soda machine doesn't really have anything I'm interested in.
Good luck!
Posted by amber at November 25, 2003 08:04 AM
Hey-found you through Eka. I'm sorry to hear about your recent breakup. But I admire you for your insight and your attempt to stay positive. I know how difficult it is to stay on the bright side of things-but you've got it goin' on!
Eka got me into the South Beach Diet thing, too-although I haven't started it really-I'm still reading the book. Your addiction to Coke products sounds just as bad as my addiction to carbs! So this is going to be a challenge for me. Hope it all works out for you-I'll be rooting for you all the way!
Posted by allie at November 25, 2003 08:57 AM
try to wean yourself to Diet Coke first, or another trick that I use is to dilute regular Coke 50/50 with San Pellegrino or some other sparkling water. A 32 oz. bottle of pop is almost 900 EMPTY calories, so if you had one of those per day, and not drinking it is the ONLY change you make, you're already ahead 94 pounds per year!!!!
Posted by Patty at November 25, 2003 09:26 AM
You go girl! Just don't go cold-turkey on the coke. The caffeine headaches SUCK! So wean yourself off of them - but you're right, it's probably easier now then ever!
Posted by Christine at November 25, 2003 09:46 AM
ha! you said "hot dumpee"
I'm just sick. ;)
Posted by mike at November 25, 2003 12:26 PM
This year is going to be my year to end my relationship with caffeine. I love Coca-cola. But, it is so bad for me. Any new advice for giving up Coca-cola?
Posted by jaymee at January 13, 2005 10:12 AM
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Thinking
I've been thinking about Steven and I and our relationship a lot over the last few days. I took a couple of days to really consider something that I had been asked, "Is it him you miss or the safety of the relationship?"
It is Steven I miss, not just the comfort of having someone. I miss how he laughs (he always said he had a stupid laugh, but I always found it endearing) and how when I would rub his shoulders he'd make these silly faces. I miss how he would balance the cat on one hand to make me laugh. I miss how we could talk poker strategy for hours. I miss him calling me musker and holding the side of my face so I could make shark biting motions at him. I miss how if he started drinking before me, I could make him blush by smelling his breath for alcohol. I miss how sensitive his ears are and being able to put him into a paroxysm of giggles by talking near them. I miss all this and more. I miss him.
I like how, while we have a lot in common, we have other interests outside of each other. He could watch golf for hours in the living room while I played on the computer. I would read while he watched tv. We don't agree on a lot of political issues (I'm liberal, he's conservative), but I always thought that the fact that we were different made us more balanced.
For a while I've been just kind of going along - stagnating. I operated under that assumption that almost everyone makes - there will always be more time. More time to fix what's wrong. More time to make sure that everything was okay. I knew he was frustrated by my slovenliness, but I thought I would have time to make it right. I feel ashamed when I think about how I shirked all my responsibilities and just let Steven take care of it all. I used to help out some around the house (taking out the garbage, doing some of the dishes, etc.), but I haven't done that in a long time. I don't know why I thought it was okay to take him for granted like that.
Not that I'm saying that our break up is my fault completely - we both share in the blame here. Steven thinks that coming right out and saying something along the lines of "This is what I need to change or I don't think we can make it" is an ultimatum and if you have to give an ultimatum, then you're just changing the person and you're better off just finding someone else. I think that's not saying how you really feel and if you don't say it, it can't be fixed, dooming the relationship to failure.
I think that over the last year or so we lost each other. I was battling issues at work and sinking into a depression. He was overwhelmed with the amount of business that his own company had. We settled into a rut. We began to drift apart and lost sight of what was really important - each other. It's amazing how a break-up can give you such clarity - how I can now see what's important.
If I had my heart of heart's desires, it would be that, after we take a little time off from one another, we could sit down in January, talk a bit (and I mean really talk, not just hint around) about what we both need, and give this another try. Go out to dinner or dancing and rediscover each other.
Maybe it would work, maybe it wouldn't (though, of course, I hope it would), but I believe that six years worth of love and life together is far too precious to throw away without a second chance - a shot at redemption, if you will. No one is perfect, but when you love and, more importantly, like someone (Steven once told me that he liked me more than he thought he'd ever like a woman), that puts you ahead of the game. We all have problems and issues and having a foundation of love to try and repair them on is more than a lot of people can say. Love between two people - especially after the amount of time we've spent together - is very precious. It would be a sin to just let it die without trying to save it first.
I know that I had said that the worst part of our break-up was the slap in the face of taking my garage door openers and stuff like that, but after talking to Christine, I think what really is the worst part is that he gave up on not just me, but us. After six years, would a second chance be asking for too much?
I know that Steven said that "we've been working on this for years," but I haven't been, not really. I never realized how serious our problems were, something that I deeply regret now. I know that if we were to get back together without addressing these things, we would never be able to stay together. But, I think with a little work on both our parts, we could fix some of our problems and be happy together again.
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I admire your clarity during such a tough time for you. I hope things work out for the best. :)
Posted by D at November 23, 2003 02:48 AM
sometimes it's the time that people need...
time to see what they miss
time to see that things can be changed
time to figure out how to say what they really mean
time to focus on what went well, what went wrong
time to regroup and approach eachother in love
time...
I'm still praying for you, and I hope everything works out for the greater good!
Posted by amancay at November 23, 2003 05:10 AM
**hugs**
Posted by kat at November 23, 2003 09:26 AM
Like I said the other day - your reaction to all of this is completely different then I would have expected. I'm proud of you and impressed by you in so many ways. It's like watching you grow in to a stronger person (even though I know you feel very weak) right before my eyes. I hope with all hope possible that he will give you guys another chance, and that in getting that chance you will both work towards a better future.
Posted by Christine at November 23, 2003 01:24 PM
Clarity is right. Kymberlie, you really put things into perspective with this post. (You also put into words some things I have been thinking about as to my own life.) I hope Steven reads this. (I hope that's okay to say) It should make things clearer for him, too. There is hope. Good luck.
Posted by Marie at November 23, 2003 01:41 PM
You have a great way with words, and a true clarity on the issue at hand. I hope all the best for you, and I hope that talk will happen after the holidays. I think it will be the best thing.
Posted by amber at November 23, 2003 03:15 PM
I hope everything works out for the best. I am sorry to hear about everything going on. *hugs*
Posted by syd at November 23, 2003 05:35 PM
I have to say that was mighty impressive and well thought and most of all FELT. People like you with that kind of love is one of a kind. I know with him sharing the time he did with you he knows this .. so some things slipped.
If he doesnt lay in bed at night and think about you to in the middle of the day unable to work cause he misses things about you then its his loss. My marriage has totally failed, I want things to work and what not but she doesnt care .. I made the mistake when i married her thinking things would get better .. just dont fall into this group i have to be with him, what you have with him is one of a kind, im sure he knows this .. im hoping its only his work and things and he doesnt want you to feel left alone while hes busy.
I hope he reads this to, and my words to him.
Steven, shes a wonderful woman. She feels and loves you like NO OTHER. You will never find that answer from someone else they will always be second best. As a male myself I know sometimes we need change but moving away from her isnt the answer, you will regret it. I only wish I could have found what you did with her.
Posted by Matt_31 at November 23, 2003 11:35 PM
Yikes. Yikes. Yikes. I've been catching up on my blog reading, what a difference a week makes! So, so sorry. It's really sad to read that someone else is going through what I've been going through. Hopefully a little hiatus will help both of you. It does happen. Really sorry this happened right before the holidays. (EXACTLY, almost to the date, when it happened to me)
As sad and lonely as the road has been for me - thinking I'm the only one in the world who failed at a six year relationship - I've never wished my "situation" on anyone. So, so sorry.
Sad to say, the only solid advice I can give from my ever evolving experience is: Try to get beyond blame. Try to maintain your obvious clarity and focus. Try not to slip into too many "what if" sessions with yourself. Most importantly, don't lose site of yourself. Remember you are a creative, unique, worthy, viable human being. Remember you have an identity beyond being part of a couple. You may feel cut adrift without a compass, but you are still piloting an otherwise functioning boat. (I hate platitudes, but, that sums up how I've felt since my break-up.)
I hope with all my bloggy little heart this will sort itself out and in a short time you two will be talking and moving forward together.
Posted by Trillian at November 24, 2003 11:23 AM
Been there, done that, two years ago January. I could have written your post, except we were married and had a small child.
If I may be so bold as to recommend Michele Weiner-Davis' books (and website: http://www.divorcebusting.com) I got SO much strength from the forums with people going through the same thing, and the thought that one person CAN turn breakups around, but it takes a LOT of time and a LOT of patience.
How do I know? On Halloween, my husband called me to tell me he'd made a huge mistake when he said he wanted out. So now we're in the rebuilding phase, but it *did* work for me. And if it hadn't? I'd still have grown and learned so much from following the process. You can email me offline if you want; I have no stake in any of the Divorce Busting stuff, other than it saving my sanity and my relationship.
Jody
Posted by Jody at November 24, 2003 12:19 PM
Hi -- I found your site through nervousness.org. I was searching for Houstoners... there's a new Houston art/craft group, and so I just thought perhaps you would want to know about it.
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/stitchnbitch-houston/
Heather
p.s. my apologies for this random spam-like message...
Posted by yardenxanthe at November 24, 2003 10:50 PM
Adding to the random spam-like comment, I've known you for over 3 years now... and the thought of you stitching? Or doing anything crafty? I'm cracking up. I can see you bleeding out thanks to a cross-stitch needle (I have a link to some lovely "Go Fuck Yourself" kits on my site!) or gluing your fingers together or something like that.
I am amused.
Meanwhile, back on topic - remember, blame is a two way street. Always.
Posted by Christine at November 25, 2003 09:50 AM
I know it's going to hard but life will go on and maybe Steven will have second thoughts and decide it's time to really talk ... I'll be thinking about ya sis!
Posted by Oasis at November 25, 2003 07:03 PM
Oh girl! I know how you feel! My wife dropped the bomb on me last April - didn't want to work on fixing the marraige, just wanted out. I can second your thoughts on the other person not just giving up on you, but on "us" - the 10 years we had together...
It has hurt like hell (and still does), but I am in a MUCH better place now than I was those 6 months ago...
Keep a positive outlook, and don't beat yourself up too much!!
Posted by don at November 26, 2003 12:50 AM
many hugs to you. I know this is a difficult time but you are so strong and I admire that...
just letting you know someone out there is thinking of you:)
Posted by ericalynn at November 26, 2003 08:12 PM
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