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Quiet
I've been quietly lately. Maybe you've noticed how many days last month that I haven't blogged - a real rarity for me in the year and a half that I've had this site.
I'm not sure what it is. Why nothing makes me feel like talking or sharing. I think I've started to get a handle on the depression that was so bad (especially in April). While I've gotten past the "Life is so bad, I can't stand it," I can't seem to get to the "It's good and can improve" level.
I feel frustrated by everything. My weight's hit an all-time high since I lost fifty pounds about seven years ago. Even though I lost that much weight before, the twenty-five or thirty pounds that I need to lose now seems absolutely impossible.
I guess it's a combo of feeling loney (Steven works a lot later than me, so it's just me and the cat rattling around the house), feeling fat, and a general sense of ennui. Plus it's so fucking hot. Blah.
.: Posted July 2, 2003 12:55 AM in $entry_cats="Fish Tales, ";print substr($entry_cats, 0, -2); ?> :.$blogid = "1"; //replace this with the blog_id of your blog $entry_id = "2314"; $pingcount = mysql_query("SELECT p.tbping_blog_id, t.trackback_entry_id FROM mt_tbping p, mt_trackback t WHERE (p.tbping_blog_id = $blogid) and (t.trackback_entry_id = $entry_id) and (t.trackback_id = p.tbping_tb_id)"); $count = mysql_num_rows($pingcount); echo ""; echo "Trackbacks on this post: ", $count, ""; $pingarray = "SELECT p.tbping_source_url, p.tbping_blog_name, p.tbping_created_on, p.tbping_excerpt, p.tbping_tb_id, t.trackback_id, t.trackback_entry_id FROM mt_tbping p, mt_trackback t WHERE (p.tbping_blog_id = $blogid) and (t.trackback_entry_id = $entry_id) and (t.trackback_id = p.tbping_tb_id)"; $resultping = mysql_query($pingarray) or die (mysql_error()); while ($row = mysql_fetch_array($resultping)) { //set up the variables being used - the date can be configured below $url = ($row['tbping_source_url']); $blog = ($row['tbping_blog_name']); $date = date("F d, Y g:i A", strtotime($row['tbping_created_on'])); $excerpt = ($row['tbping_excerpt']); echo "
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Ping this post
http://www.neuroticfishbowl.com/mt/mt-tb.cgi/1576
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"..."
Comments
I know just how you feel. You could have been describing me and my life (well except the too hot thing).
Hang in there. I've found that exercise (once I got past the hating it stage) really helped my mood/stress levels, and of course gets a start on the weight loss. Sometimes once you get some success with your weight, then it's not so hard to start with the other component (food).
.: Bev said on July 2, 2003 07:25 AM :: link it :.Keepy trying! I'm sure you can get through it and find your way to the happy side of life again. =) Remember, you only have to deal with one day at a time.
.: Nicole said on July 2, 2003 10:40 AM :: link it :.I have times like that too. I have gained back weight I lost before and now it seems doubly hard to lose. :-( I don't like that feeling. Hang in there, I'm pullin' for you.
.: Hey Lisa said on July 2, 2003 11:48 AM :: link it :.May and June were really difficult months for me, and I'm just pulling out of my depression, so I'm right there with you. Hang in there. Better days are ahead.
.: Angela said on July 2, 2003 02:08 PM :: link it :.You are not alone! I don't mean to sound like a cornball, but go get busy! (not like that) I went through hell the last year and I found I needed distractions. I volunteered, I took a French class, took a class at Second City. It helped me so much.
BTW...My quote for the last year has been from Winston Churchill who said..."If you are going through hell- keep going". Feel better!
.: Hunter said on July 4, 2003 12:04 AM :: link it :.I love the summer for the activities and warmth (except when it's this warm) but I hate it for the fact that I have to shed my sweats and big floppy sweaters so everyone can see that I spent the winter eating cotton candy in front of the pc.
.: Danelle said on July 4, 2003 11:57 PM :: link it :.Hang in there Kymberlie. Don't worry too much about posting, when the yen to types strikes again, we'll be here. Until then take care of you, and know that we love you tons and are here for you.
*big squishy hugs*
I'm on Lexapro for my "stress problems"... I can tell you it has made a real difference in my life. Before I went on it, I cried all the time and would just feel so tense and pissed off at the world. Now things that would have made me mad make me laugh at how stupid people are....
As for losing weight, I lost 15 pounds last year and say the hardest step is the first one! You can do it! I hope you get better!
.: The Sarcastic Journalist said on July 5, 2003 08:22 PM :: link it :.Wow, I am so glad that there are others out there who seem to have the daily struggles with weight that i do. I have recently been feeling like total shit because over the last year my weight has gradually crept back up...yuk, there is nothing like lying on your side in bed and feeling those sexy rolls...hehehe
Oh well at least its winter here, so I can cover my mass and work on it....
I hope things get better for you, dont let depression beat you, and depression really can be quite a good reality check cos in order to know the highs, you have to experience the lows.
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