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Young Arthur and the Witch
I got an e-mail forward today from my friend Perry that I thought was really funny. It's pretty long, so if you want to read it, use the "Read More" below.
Young King Arthur was ambushed and imprisoned by the monarch of a neighbouring kingdom. The monarch could have killed him, but was moved by Arthur's youthful happiness. So he offered him freedom, as long as he could answer a very difficult question. Arthur would have a year to figure out the answer; if, after a year, he still had no answer, he would be killed. The question was: What do women really want? Such a question would perplex even the most knowledgeable man, and, to young Arthur, it seemed an impossible query. Well, since it was better than death, he accepted the monarch's proposition to have an answer by year's end. He returned to his kingdom and began to poll everybody: the princess, the prostitutes, the priests, the wise men, the court jester. In all, he spoke with everyone but no one could give him a satisfactory answer. What most people did tell him was to consult the old witch, as only she would know the answer. The price would be high, since the witch was famous throughout the kingdom for the exorbitant prices she charged.
The last day of the year arrived and Arthur had no alternative but to talk to the witch. She agreed to answer his question, but he'd have to accept her price first: The old witch wanted to marry Gawain, the most noble of the Knights of the Round Table and Arthur's closest friend! Young Arthur was horrified: she was hunchbacked and awfully hideous, had only one tooth, smelled like sewage water, often made obscene noises... He had never run across such a repugnant creature. He refused to force his friend to marry her and have to endure such a burden.
Gawain, upon learning of the proposal, spoke with Arthur. He told him that nothing was too big of a sacrifice compared to Arthur's life and the preservation of the Round Table. Hence, their wedding was proclaimed, and the witch answered Arthur's question: What a woman really wants is to be able to be in charge of her own life. Everyone instantly knew that the witch had uttered a great truth and that Arthur's life would be spared. And so it went. The neighbouring monarch spared Arthur's life and granted him total freedom.
What a wedding Gawain and the witch had! Arthur was torn between relief and anguish. Gawain was proper as always, gentle and courteous. The old witch put her worst manners on display. She ate with her hands, belched and farted, and made everyone uncomfortable. The wedding night approached: Gawain, steeling himself for an horrific night entered the bedroom. What a sight awaited! The most beautiful woman he'd ever seen lay before him! Gawain was astounded and asked what had happened. The beauty replied that since he had been so kind to her (when she'd been a witch), half the time she would be her horrible, deformed self, and the other half, she would be her beautiful maiden self. Which would he want her to be during the day and which during the night? What a cruel question!
Gawain began to think of his predicament: During the day a beautiful woman to show off to his friends, but at night, in the privacy of his home, an old spooky witch? Or would he prefer having by day a hideous witch, but by night a beautiful woman to enjoy many intimate moments? What would you do? What Gawain chose follows below, but don't read until you've made your own choice.
Noble Gawain replied that he would let her choose for herself. Upon hearing this, she announced that she would be beautiful all the time, because he had respected her and had let her be in charge of her own life. What is the moral of this story?
The moral is that it doesn't matter if your woman is pretty or ugly, smart or dumb, underneath it all, she's still a witch.
.: Posted August 15, 2002 05:22 PM in Entertainment Value, ";print substr($entry_cats, 0, -2); ?> :."; echo "Trackbacks on this post: ", $count, ""; $pingarray = "SELECT p.tbping_source_url, p.tbping_blog_name, p.tbping_created_on, p.tbping_excerpt, p.tbping_tb_id, t.trackback_id, t.trackback_entry_id FROM mt_tbping p, mt_trackback t WHERE (p.tbping_blog_id = $blogid) and (t.trackback_entry_id = $entry_id) and (t.trackback_id = p.tbping_tb_id)"; $resultping = mysql_query($pingarray) or die (mysql_error()); while ($row = mysql_fetch_array($resultping)) { //set up the variables being used - the date can be configured below $url = ($row['tbping_source_url']); $blog = ($row['tbping_blog_name']); $date = date("F d, Y g:i A", strtotime($row['tbping_created_on'])); $excerpt = ($row['tbping_excerpt']); echo "
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Comments
i don't think that's the real moral of the story but i like it better..lmao
.: kat said on August 15, 2002 06:41 PM :: link it :.Interesting. That story was originally a myth about Ragnell and Arthur's heir Gawain. (Sorry for it's length)
At the beginning of the tale, Arthur goes hunting, and shoots an animal protected by the Gromer Somer Jour. In payment, the God demands Arther's life. Arthur demands another way out of the mess he's found himself in, and GSJ offers that should the young king be able to tell him what it is that women want the most, he shall go free. Unable to answer, Arthur asks for time. GSJ agrees, and gives him one year - but should his answer be wrong, his life is forfeit.
As Arthur returns home, he comes across a hideous woman who tells him that she will answer his question but that should he use it, there will be a price. Knowing that should he fail, and die, that the land of Britain would die as well (for in those days the health of the land was entwined with the health of its king), he agrees to whatever she asks: to marry Arthur's heir, Gawain.
Arhtur and Gawan spend the next year talking to women throughout the kingdom, and compile two books with the answers. Arthur is confident that on the day he meet's GSJ, he will have found the answer and will not have to face Ragnell again.
Yet the day arrives, and GSJ leafs through the books and tosses them aside in disgust, the answer is not within. Desperate, Arthur blurts out the answer that Ragnell had given him and is allowed to go free.
He returns to his castle, and is stopped on the way by Ragnell, come to claim her reward for her help. Arthur leads her to Gawain. She demands a full wedding feast, and is married within days.
That night, Gawain leads her to their bridal chamber and when asked, kisses her lovingly on her hideous lips.
Magically, the the disfigured women transforms into a beautful maiden.
"Know that I was under an enchantment until I could find a man willing to wed with me with no thought for the loathsome form which I have had to wear. And you, my friend, are that man." Ragnell declares, now turned into a true form of a beautiful woman.
"There is yet one more choice for you to make, my husband, if the spell is to be truly broken. For the rest of your life, will you have me fair by night and foul by day? Or, will you have me foul by night and fair and fair by day? The choice is yours."
"Lady," Gawain said, "there is but one answer to given, the choice must be yours!"
"You have done it, husband!" Ragnell cried. "The spell is truly broken and I am able to be fair or foul as I choose, when I choose! I choose to be fair with you. For you have give me what every woman – indeed, husband, every man as well – desires most, the right to choose for myself who and what I am to be."
__________________________________
On a side note, this pre-Christian Arthurian myth was told around Yule, the Winter Solstice. The conflict between Gromer and Arthur is played out each and every Midwinter, as the seasons change, with the Oak King (Arhtur) earning the upper hand against The Holly King (GSJ).
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